passengers

In the crowded waiting area she had suitcases, totes, 2 lunch bags, an ice chest. A folded wheelchair. She was a bit younger than me. She told me her name, age, list of maladies and dietary restrictions before I said hello. Then tested her blood sugar and told me the result, and the history of her blood sugars over the past two weeks in Hawaii (where the Dole Pineapple Whip was so amazing)

An older gentleman in a Hawaian shirt was sitting in a wheelchair nearby. They struck up a conversation about Hawaii. While he negotiated his sandwich and paperwork a number of things fell under his wheelchair. Ketchup and mustard packets, his reading glasses and phone.  The younger woman pointed to me and said loudly to him  “Don’t move! This lady is going to crawl under your chair and get a few things!” I dutifully collected his items, and they went on with their conversation.

A little later I left to use the restroom. When I returned my former seat was taken. There was one seat left at the back wall, between a very large and tall man and a young woman.  When I asked if the seat was taken the man said “No. This seat is your destiny!”

He looked to be doing the hardest Sodoku puzzle ever invented. I started reading my book so I wouldn’t look like a slouch. The woman next to me tapped me on the arm “Look what this one is wearing!” She indicated a young woman with shiny hot pants and spiky heel boots. “I suddenly feel underdressed for this plane ride!” We started a conversation. She was on her way from Alaska to Minneapolis to visit with old college friends. Then she asked if I could watch her bags and save her seat and I agreed.

The person to the left of her left their seat shortly after, so now it appeared there were two seats open together in the crowded waiting area.  Every minute or two people approached. A young couple who had bought salads and drinks, a mother and a child, an older couple holding onto one another. To each I said “I am so sorry. This one seat is taken, but the other appears to be free.”  Mr. Sudoku said “You are getting quite the assertiveness workout”

The young woman returned, and they began calling the boarding. I had upgraded to first so said goodbye and began to move forward. Mr. Sudoku was also in first and I hoped we would sit together but I was a row behind. In the aisle across from him sat the Hawaiin shirt man speaking loudly on his cell phone “When I left the hospital this morning I felt worse. Then I passed out. Then better. I just have to remember to take all of the..” When he finished the conversation the stewardess sat beside him and asked a few questions.

Around that time the young woman whose seat I had saved earlier boarded the plane. “Teresa!” She said when she saw me, “This is your chance to trade this bogus first class seat for my safe and luxurious scrunched up seat in the back! Come on, you don’t know what you’re missing”.

After she passed by the young man next to me said “Do you know each other? She was funny!” I sat at the aisle and he sat at the window. I noticed a cagey energy to him, like, tightly wound but very polite. The stewardess came by with some water and just handed it to us, looking distracted. The pilot came on the intercom and said we needed to wait for a dozen passengers whose connecting flight was just bringing them to the terminal

The stewardess was with an airline employee in the aisle. She said to the man in the Hawaiin shirt “Mr.  So and So from our airlines would like to ask you a few questions.” Over the next few minutes the Hawaiin shirt man went into loud and great detail about his recent medical history. He did have a travel clearance note from his doctor but had put it in his checked luggage. His doctor was available 24/7 though and he gave the airline person his doctor’s number. He said “Basically they ARE sending me home to die but are almost positive that won’t happen in the next week or so”

The airline rep left and the passengers we were waiting for arrived. One sat next to the Hawaiin shirt man, who immediately began talking to him. The new passenger said nothing, took earphones out of his bag, put them on and plugged them in to an iPod, and closed his eyes. The man in the Hawaiin shirt either didn’t notice or didn’t mind, as he continued talking for quite awhile.

We were cleared for takeoff. The young man next to me said “I am glad they checked out that guy’s medical clearance”  He told me that he was a trained EMT, and the last flight he had been on, he’d had to sit on the floor of the galley with a stretched out passenger who was having a heart episode. The man had survived and was stable when they landed and he was picked up by ambulance, but then of course the flight was very late getting in.  He also said that he bet there had been doctors or nurses on that flight but they knew  to not raise their hands and volunteer.

I was starting to feel a bit socially tired, so made some polite conversation enders. I went back to reading. I played games on the tablet, listening to music. My seat mate was watching a movie. The stewardess brought dinner. I thought to try the red wine, and slowly sipped about half the small glass tumbler. Dinner was finished and as I got my book out again my head began to whirl.

The familiar hot flash feeling began, but got hotter, and then hotter. I knew that I was going to vomit, and fast. I reached around for the airsickness bag, and found it through fog. I felt a hand on my shoulder, heard fading voices as I vomited into the bag. Then a few moments passed. Cool on the back of my neck. Then noise/sensation crashing back in. “Okay. ” I answered (though I hadn’t remembered the question) “I am okay. Yes!” My seatmate had his hand on one shoulder, another on my wrist. The stewardess was kneeling beside me in the aisle, pressing a cool wet cloth to the back of my neck. My seatmate said “You were OUT there for a second!” It was strange but I felt calm, clear, and my stomach felt calm. The stewardess now had a warm cloth, a ginger ale.

I turned to my seatmate and said laughing, “I am sorry! You were probably thinking you would have to ride on the galley floor again! And I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t raise your hand and waited to see if the doctors and nurses would take their dang turn for once!” He said he felt terrible but it had crossed his mind. He asked me what happened and I described the hot flash feeling that made me nauseous. The hormone I am taking for treatment. And apparently not helped by red wine.

Then began a beautiful conversation between us.

About cancer. Mine, and his wife’s.

About death. The two bands on his arm for two best friends killed in Iraq. The dad he never had time for in a car accident the week before they were going to see one another after years apart. John’s death.

About anger, fear, sadness and all the things we can’t overpower no matter how much force. About being in wars so long you don’t know peace even when you’re in it.  About being executor of his father’s estate with no information about who his father really was or his wishes. About saving yourself through a higher power and wanting to punch it in the neck if it exists.

When his helicopter was fired at in Iraq he should have died with his friends. His wife almost died and now she’s fine but he can’t shake the fear of her cancer returning. They almost got divorced and one night reunited with tears over the question “Why are we here? Why are we even fucking alive?” And somehow ended up with an answer.

His answer was just to trust . Fate. If he is still here then he’s still here. And he should do the things that matter. Know the people in his life, who they are, what they think about, what they need. And stop putting off the things that bring you joy. He had retired from the service, been doing treatment for PTSD, supporting his wife, and, now that she was getting better, had decided to go and visit extended family for something other than a funeral. Time at the lake with his sisters, their families.

Our religious and political thoughts were very different, but I said I felt a spiritual connection.  We exchanged first names so we could continue to send prayer for one another, and I asked the name of his wife too. He said there are things I am meant to do, but I don’t have to worry because they will find me. He said “I don’t know how I know this but I just do”.

The flight was ending. We said goodbye and I thanked he and the stewardess for looking out for me.  Just then he got a call back from his sister who was waiting outside for him.