i feel disappointed in myself, the times i sleep most of the day away. today just felt so grey outside, and my stomach was persistently uncomfortable. i did some errands in the morning, but tucked myself back into bed with heating pad at one and didn’t wake up until the five o’clock whistle blew downtown. now low energy. but i’m hoping with music on and some dance moves in between things like laundry, dishes, writing, might get done.
not sure about eating. today feels like a food aversion day. everything i can think of to eat only feels tiresome. there is a banana on the desk that is my most likely subject. the naturopath suggested taking digestive enzymes but the poor enzymes need something to work on.
my dreams are still lingering. in one, i was holding a baby who i would only meet once. i looked into her eyes. i asked my younger sister (expert on all things baby) “Is there a way you can look at them, smile at them, so even if they don’t remember you, they always remember that they are loved?” (I wonder if my young dad wondered that when we were all babies and toddlers).
i also had an ineffectual teacher dream, (which i have a lot). i was trying to teach but my voice didn’t seem to carry very far (probably because i was wearing a c-pap for my nap). the class had been learning a shakespeare story and there was supposed to be a fancy play where they acted it out. but they were only primary school kids and only one or two was really up for it.
instead i gave them each a couple of toys/puppets and said they should form groups with kids from the other class, and act out the story with the toys.
some of the kids dutifully did so. but most just ran off to play with the toys. one boy kept trying to invent a machine that would shoot an arrow. and some groups were clearly acting out shakespeare fan fiction, using the characters’ names but having the toys talk on cell phones and have fashion and relationship drama.