i write everywhere

my new counselor is kind of stoic. even though i used up half her kleenex box i’m actually feeling better than i have in awhile. i haven’t talked with my doctor yet but i’m planning to take a small break from chemo. this month and next. i didn’t even know how worn out i felt these past months until i felt the relief in my soul from the decision. a reprieve. a chance to just get my bearings a little.

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this: organic pineapple juice, coconut water with aloe vera and a little whipped cream, whirled in the nutriblender.

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today i’m thinking about all the places i write. i write in paper notebooks with a pen. i write on a word document on the computer. these are places for me to just blab out a bunch of words to the page and then sift through them to see what the heck is going on.

i write status updates on facebook, but tend to only want to share the upbeat things there.  i have this blog, which anyone who is my facebook friend might know about and read. i always wonder if i’m writing too personally for how freely shared it is. and lately feel like i’m not very entertaining of a writer just talking about what tricks my stomach is up to. and then there is the other. remnant of opendiary. where i go to read the words of my wise older brother. and i felt my heart skip a beat yesterday when my special muse did some writing there (the one who loves me, exactly for the eggplant i am). every once in awhile i might want to write something there that feels too tender, and too personal, even for this blog.

i feel so lucky for the writers in my life, who have given expression to complicated feelings and day to day joys. and who have given me such a precious listening.

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i am making split pea soup with the smoke flavored bone broth john’s sister gave me, with carrots and leafy greens.

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in this moment i feel comfortable. i feel contentment.